break the stigma: suicide

As it is R U OK Day, and tomorrow is World Suicide Prevention Day, I thought it was important to discuss a taboo topic that often gets hidden under the rug in society: suicide. There is a great deal of stigma surrounding not only the act of suicide itself, but suicidal thoughts and ideation as well. We tend to want to ignore this uglier side of mental health, because it is extremely difficult to look at. Today, I want to dive deeper into suicide awareness, and discuss what suicide, suicidal thoughts, and suicidal ideation can look like, why there is such a great deal of stigma surrounding this topic, and how to combat this stigma in everyday life.

A short disclaimer before I continue: I am not a professional psychologist, therapist, or psychiatrist. The thoughts and opinions expressed in these blogs are a combination of my own research and lived experiences as someone who lives with mental health issues. This post may also be triggering for those who have lost people to suicide, or those who have struggled with suicidal thoughts. If you've already identified you need help, please reach out to a professional. There is no shame in asking for help - you are worthy of love and care. If this blog post is triggering for you, please stop reading! I don't want you to put yourself through that, so please look after yourself.

Suicide, suicidal thoughts, and suicidal ideation

Suicide is a multifaceted and complex subject. I believe that this contributes greatly to the stigma, because we naturally shy away from things that are perceived as overly complicated. Despite the fact that people greatly dislike discussing suicide, it is an overwhelmingly common thing in modern society. According to the World Health Organization, more than 700,000 people die from suicide each year, and this number doesn't take into account the number of people who have attempted suicide.

There are a number of reasons why someone might be at a greater risk of suicide than others. For example:

• They suffer from depression, anxiety, or another mental health condition

• They have experienced bullying, trauma, or loss in recent times

• They have a disability, be it mental or physical

• They have experienced extreme stress (e.g. work, finances, life changes)

• They have a substance abuse condition

People commit suicide for a myriad of reasons. Whether it's a case of untreated mental illness, or someone who has experienced trauma they are struggling to deal with, the fact is that people reach a point where they believe that life is no longer worth living. While there are warning signs that someone is reaching this point, such as withdrawing from their social life, or even self-harming at a greater degree, sometimes there are no signs at all, and seemingly happy people commit suicide without anyone expecting it.

Those who commit suicide or attempt suicide often experience suicidal thoughts and suicidal ideation beforehand. Suicidal thoughts and suicidal ideation are different thought processes, though they sound similar.

• Suicidal thoughts are: Feeling lost and hopeless in your life Experiencing a disconnect from your social life and loved ones Feeling like no one cares about you A desire to sleep forever/not wake up to deal with the day Struggling to see a way out or see solutions to problems Experiencing extreme highs or extreme lows of emotion (e.g. extreme sadness or extreme happiness)
  

• Suicidal ideation is: Experiencing urges to hurt yourself or kill yourself in the immediate future No longer thinking about caring for yourself (e.g. crossing a road without caring to look for cars, no longer eating) Thinking about how you can leave your affairs in order after you're gone Planning how to commit suicide

Some people experience only suicidal thoughts, but never ideation, while other people experience both thought processes. Either way, they are incredibly harmful ways of thinking. When people are struggling with these thoughts, it can feel increasingly isolating, and this is in large part due to the stigma associated with suicide.

Suicide and stigma

Stigma has existed for a long time around suicide. Even today, it is still viewed as a shameful act, as something that people should keep hidden and not discuss in "polite society". While people who have committed suicide are often viewed with pity and sympathy, those who attempt suicide or express they are experiencing suicidal thoughts and ideation are often seen as attention-seeking and weak. This is a very toxic view of suicide, but one that unfortunately still permeates society today. It is precisely this stigma that discourages open conversation about suicide, causing people to keep their thoughts to themselves until sometimes it is too late.

Society can be quite polarising in regards to suicide. On the one hand, we are getting better at fostering a culture that allows people to express their suicidal thoughts and ideations in a safe environment, and making sure that there are practices in place to make sure they get the help they need. But on the other hand, we still greatly dislike openly discussing suicide in the workplace, everyday conversation, or amongst family.

So how can we break the cycle of shoving discussion of suicide under the rug? I have no qualms admitting that suicide and suicidal thoughts can be an uncomfortable, emotional topic to breach. But I am also very aware that talking about it in a safe and open environment is important, because it encourages others who may be experiencing these thoughts and emotions to open up and talk. I have a few recommendations as to how we can endeavour to make suicide less of a taboo topic, and allow people to express their emotions fully if they are struggling with suicidal thoughts.

1. Share your own story to help others feel comfortable with sharing theirs. Last year, I shared an image of my left arm on my social media, which is covered in scars from over a decade of self harm (I am currently five years clean from hurting myself). In this post, I shared my story of how I had attempted suicide twice in my life. Why did I do this in such a public fashion, you might ask? Because I wanted others to know that I am not ashamed of my story, I am not ashamed of having lived that experience, and I am not ashamed of my mental health issues. I shared that story because I am human, and we all have trauma. I wanted others to know that they are not alone, that there are others out there who have experienced suicidal thoughts, who have attempted suicide, and have come out the other end with scars but surviving. If you feel comfortable, share your story with others. I can guarantee it empowers them to feel able to speak about their own feelings, and this helps combat stigma better than anything else.
   

2. Hold space and listen. Holding space is an important part of talking about mental health, in particular suicide and suicidal thoughts. When I say "hold space", I don't mean clear out a room and have that physical space available (though that could be nice, too!). To "hold space" means ensuring that the person/people you are having a conversation with recognize that you represent a judgement-free, safe, and empathetic zone for them to express themselves freely. It means being physically, mentally, and emotionally available for someone who needs you. Just make sure you feel comfortable doing this for someone first, as it can be emotionally and mentally draining sometimes, so make sure your headspace is good first. Allowing people to talk without interruption can be incredibly helpful, even if they pause for a long time between sentences. Let the silence sit, and they will continue to talk eventually because they know you are there for them in this moment.
   

3. Encourage open conversation of mental health. Talking about mental health conditions in an open and empathetic manner allows people to feel heard, particularly if they are experiencing suicidal thoughts or suicidal ideation. The conversation doesn't even have to focus directly on suicide - if you encourage open conversation about negative thoughts, emotions, and personal experiences then you will be helping to foster an environment that will feel safe for people to express themselves. I believe this is particularly pertinent for workplaces, where emotions and mental health can be overlooked or seen as unprofessional. If your workplace makes you feel supported in your mental health and they have an open dialogue about mental health, people will feel more comfortable opening up before things get too extreme.
   

4. Remind people that seeking help is not weakness. If someone does come to you expressing they are struggling with suicidal thoughts and/or suicidal ideation, it's important to remember that there are heaps of resources available to support them during this experience. Accepting help for mental health conditions is too often seen as admitting defeat, or as a weakness. I can safely say, as someone who has sought help many times over the years, that there is nothing weak about it. It takes a huge amount of strength to admit you need help, and seeking it is a huge step in the right direction. Reminding people that help is available, and that they are deserving of help, that they do not have to carry their burden alone, is incredibly important.

I hope that this post has opened up an important topic of conversation, and that you found some tools here to help combat the stigma surrounding suicide that we face everyday. For those of you who have experienced suicidal thoughts, or attempted suicide, or lost someone to suicide, I greatly encourage you to talk to your loved ones or trained professionals about it. If you feel comfortable, share your story. Someone out there will see it, and they will feel more capable of sharing their emotions and their story as well.

Remember, you are worthy of love, and you are worthy of care and support. You are not alone.

Love,

Ella.